If you have a teenager at home, you probably have experienced something like this. One minute they want your help, the next they want you nowhere near them. They may argue with you over the smallest things, insist they can handle everything themselves and then, a few days later, come back and ask for your help.It can be confusing for parents. But perhaps it is not as unusual as it feels.
28 Jul 2026 | 16:22
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Indian squash star Anahat Singh recently spoke about exactly this in a conversation with Raj Shamani. Asked if she had ever got angry with her parents, Anahat admitted, “I think definitely, numerous times. I mean, not angry but we argue a lot.”Anahat, who recently won the girls’ singles title at the World Junior Squash Championships, said her father has been closely involved in her squash journey. “He’s mainly the one that travels with me and he knows the most about squash,” she said. That closeness, however, also meant plenty of arguments.The host asked her, “Tell me a time where you were at your worst behavior with them.” “There was a while where we’d argue like every single day,” she replied. At one point, her father decided to stop pushing. “After a point, he was like, ‘Anahat, okay, you want to do this on your own, do it on your own. Then I’m not getting involved.’”And something interesting happened. Once her father stepped back, Anahat realised she actually wanted his support. “After a few days, I realized that, you know, I actually need him on my side. I was like, okay, please just come back, help me out.”She then added, “Of course, I’m still a teenager and I have my mood swings. So yeah, I mean, it’s going to take me a while to realize it.”That one conversation carries a surprisingly useful lesson for parents.
When your teenager pushes you away, don’t always chase
Anahat with her parents. (Instagram/@anahatsingh13)
For many Indian parents, stepping back can feel almost impossible. If a child is preparing for an exam, the parent wants to know what they studied. If they are playing a sport, the parent wants to discuss what went wrong. If they are making a decision, the parent wants to explain why their way may be better. It usually comes from love. But sometimes, too much involvement can make a teenager feel that they have no ownership over their own life.Anahat’s father allowed her to experience what “doing it on my own” actually meant. He did not abandon her. He made it clear that he was available but he was not going to force himself into the process. That can be a useful distinction for parents.
Your teenager may not be rejecting you; they may be asking for control
When teenagers say, “I can do it myself,” parents can hear it as rejection. But often, what the teenager is really saying is: “Let me try.” They are at an age where they want to make their own decisions, even when they are not completely ready to make all of them.That is why teenagers can appear so contradictory. They want independence, but they still need support. They want privacy, but they also want someone to listen. They may reject advice but still want their parents around when things become difficult.
Indian parents need to separate disagreement from disrespect
Anahat Singh. (Instagram/@anahatsingh13)
In many Indian families, arguments with children can quickly become a question of authority. “You are arguing with me?” “You don’t listen to anything I say.” “Do you think you know more than us?” A disagreement can become a battle over respect. But a teenager disagreeing with a parent does not automatically mean the teenager has stopped respecting them.Children need to learn that they can have a different opinion. Parents, meanwhile, need to learn that being challenged does not mean they have lost their authority.The healthier goal is not to eliminate disagreements. It is to teach children how to disagree without being disrespectful.
Don’t rush to say “I told you so”
There is another small but important lesson in Anahat’s story. When she realised she needed her father’s help, she was comfortable enough to ask him to come back. That is something parents should protect. If a teenager comes back after making a mistake, try not to make the moment about proving that you were right.“I told you this would happen” may be true, but it may also make the child think twice before coming to you next time. A simple “Okay, let’s work it out” can do much more for the relationship.
Give them independence, but keep the door open
Perhaps the most practical way to deal with teenagers is to give them space without withdrawing support. If your teenager says they want to handle something themselves, let them try when the situation is safe.Instead of repeatedly checking, say: “Okay, give it a shot. If you need me, I’m here.”If they come back asking for help, help them without making them feel small. And if their behaviour crosses a line, keep the boundary clear. “You can disagree with me. You cannot be rude to me.”
Sometimes the best parenting move is to step back
Anahat’s story is relatable precisely because there is nothing extraordinary about the teenage part of it. Parents do not have to win every argument or have the last word. Sometimes their job is simply to make sure that when the teenager is ready to come back, the door is still open.