A 15-year study of about 4,500 families across nine countries linked more frequent physical punishment to greater anxiety and aggression in children, challenging a familiar belief about discipline |

A child breaks a rule, refuses to listen or throws a tantrum. For some parents, a slap or spanking may seem like a quick way to teach obedience. But does physical punishment actually help children become more disciplined, or could it create problems that last well beyond the moment?Research discussed by Dr. Liane Peña Alampay, a psychology professor at Ateneo de Manila University in the Philippines, challenges the belief that hitting children makes them better behaved. Findings from the international Parenting Across Cultures (PAC) project link more frequent physical punishment with greater anxiety and aggression in children over time. The research also highlights the importance of making children feel accepted, maintaining clear expectations and setting boundaries without violence.

What a 15-year study across nine countries found

The Parenting Across Cultures project has examined how family relationships, parenting practices and cultural values influence children as they grow up. According to the project’s official website, researchers recruited families from nine countries: China, Colombia, Italy, Jordan, Kenya, the Philippines, Sweden, Thailand and the United States. The project followed families over many years, with the wider research programme spanning around 15 years and involving approximately 4,500 families, according to the report. Alampay, who leads the Philippine site, discussed its findings during an Ateneo Breakthroughs Lecture.The research challenges the idea that physical punishment is a reliable way to improve behaviour. More frequent spanking was associated with higher levels of anxiety and aggression. Although cultural acceptance of physical punishment sometimes influenced the strength of these associations, it did not make the practice beneficial. These findings need to be understood carefully. An association does not automatically prove that spanking alone causes every emotional or behavioural difficulty. However, the results challenge the assumption that physical punishment is harmless or necessary for raising well-behaved children. Alampay emphasised that discipline remains important, but it does not have to involve pain or harsh treatment. Parents can guide children, correct mistakes and establish rules without resorting to hitting.

Why warmth and firm boundaries matter

Discipline is often confused with strictness. A parent may believe that a child must obey immediately, avoid questioning adults and follow instructions without discussion. But researchers distinguish between authoritarian parenting, which places strong emphasis on control and obedience, and authoritative parenting, which combines clear rules with warmth, communication and an understanding of the child’s perspective. The distinction matters because children need both guidance and emotional security. Rules help them understand what is expected, while supportive relationships can make it easier for them to learn from mistakes and communicate their feelings.The research discussed by Alampay also found that rejection, neglect and hostility towards children were associated with later emotional and behavioural difficulties. These included anxiety, depression and aggressive or antisocial behaviour during development. By contrast, children who felt valued and accepted in their relationships showed greater protection against some of these difficulties. Warm parenting does not mean allowing children to do whatever they want. It means correcting behaviour while continuing to treat the child with care and respect. The findings also challenge the belief that warm, accepting parenting is a Western approach that cannot work in Filipino families. The research suggests that supportive relationships can matter across different cultural settings, even though family expectations and parenting practices vary.

Family values can help, but pressure matters too

Family relationships emerged as another important part of the picture. The research found that valuing family responsibilities, such as helping at home, supporting siblings, spending time together and respecting parents, predicted later helpful behaviour. Among Filipino participants, these values also appeared to offer some protection against the effects of negative parenting. However, family responsibility should not be treated as the same thing as ‘utang na loob’, a Filipino concept often associated with gratitude and indebtedness. The relationship between family obligations and young people’s well-being needs further study, particularly because family expectations can have both positive and negative effects.Parenting also does not happen in isolation. Financial hardship, unsafe neighbourhoods and instability at home can increase stress and strain relationships. Under these pressures, parents may find it harder to respond calmly when children misbehave. Recognising these challenges is important. Supporting parents with practical advice and resources may be more effective than simply blaming them for repeating the practices they experienced while growing up.

How a parenting programme is helping families

To turn research into practical support, Alampay discussed Masayang Pamilya, or MaPa, a Philippine adaptation of the Parenting for Lifelong Health programme. It aims to strengthen caregiver-child relationships, prevent violence at home and improve the well-being of parents and children. The programme teaches caregivers practical skills through guided exercises, model conversations, illustrated stories and stress-management techniques. These activities help parents practise alternative ways of responding to difficult situations instead of relying on harsh punishment.A randomised controlled trial published in 2026 reported significant reductions in child maltreatment among families receiving MaPa, compared with a control group. The improvements were observed after the programme and at a one-year follow-up. The study involved 120 parents of children aged two to six who were enrolled in the government’s conditional cash transfer programme.Alampay’s team is also working with the Department of Social Welfare and Development to expand MaPa through family development sessions for beneficiaries of the conditional cash transfer programme. The larger message is that parents can learn new ways to guide their children, even if they were raised with physical punishment themselves. Discipline does not have to mean fear. Clear rules, consistent responses, patience and emotional support can help children understand boundaries while feeling secure in their relationships with the adults caring for them.