Ask siblings who their parents love the most and the answers may come quickly. One might point to the youngest, who seems to get away with everything. Another might say it is the eldest, who is trusted with more responsibility. Someone else may insist that a daughter gets special treatment. A large research review suggests that these perceptions may sometimes reflect real differences in how parents treat their children. But the findings are more complicated than simply declaring the youngest child the family favourite.Researchers of Western University examined data from 19,469 people across 30 studies and additional datasets. Their meta-analysis, published in Psychological Bulletin looked at whether birth order, gender and personality were associated with receiving more favourable treatment from parents.
28 Sept 2026 | 08:18
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The researchers found that parents tended to favour daughters, while children described as more agreeable and conscientious also received somewhat more favourable treatment. However, when it came to parental control and independence, older siblings tended to have an advantage. The differences were generally small. The findings suggest that parental favouritism can show up in everyday decisions and interactions, rather than necessarily meaning that one child is loved more than another.
Why the youngest may seem to be the favourite
Younger children are often seen as the babies of the family, even after they have grown older. Parents may be more protective of them, give them extra attention or respond differently to their mistakes. The research review supports the idea that younger siblings can receive more favourable treatment in some areas. However, it does not establish that the youngest child is universally the favourite. The pattern depends on what kind of treatment is being considered.Older siblings, meanwhile, tended to receive more autonomy and less parental control. They may be allowed to stay out later, make more decisions independently or take on responsibilities that younger siblings are not yet given.
Daughters and children who are easier to parent may get an advantage
One of the study’s notable findings was that parents tended to favour daughters. The pattern was not limited to mothers favouring girls or fathers favouring girls; the researchers found a general tendency towards more favourable treatment of daughters. The researchers also found that children who were more agreeable and conscientious tended to receive slightly more favourable treatment.Agreeableness generally refers to qualities such as being cooperative, considerate and willing to get along with others. Conscientiousness involves being responsible, organised and dependable. These traits may make daily family life easier. A child who follows instructions, completes tasks or is less likely to argue may have fewer conflicts with a parent and receive more positive responses.The study does not show that parents deliberately choose these children as favourites. Nor does it mean that children who are more demanding, impulsive or argumentative are less deserving of affection. It points to a possible pattern in how children’s behaviour and parents’ responses interact.
Does having a favourite mean loving one child more?
Not necessarily. Parents may feel that they love all their children equally while responding differently to each child. One may need more supervision, another may be given more independence, and a third may naturally spend more time talking with a parent. The problem arises when these differences repeatedly leave one child feeling overlooked, unfairly judged or less valued.The American Psychological Association notes that differences in parental treatment can have consequences, particularly for children who consistently receive less favourable treatment. The researchers encourage parents and clinicians to pay attention to these patterns rather than dismiss them.This does not mean every difference in treatment is harmful. Giving an older child more freedom because of age or allowing a younger child extra help with a task may be reasonable. What matters is whether the differences are appropriate to the children’s needs and whether each child still feels valued.
What parents can take away from the findings
Parents do not need to treat every child identically. Fairness does not always mean giving everyone the same rules, responsibilities or privileges. But it is worth noticing whether the same child consistently gets more praise, more patience or the benefit of the doubt.If one child is regularly described as the responsible one and another as the difficult one, those labels can influence how parents respond to them. A child who is expected to behave well may receive less attention because adults assume they do not need it. A child who frequently struggles may receive correction more often than encouragement.Parents can make a conscious effort to spend individual time with each child, recognise their strengths without comparing siblings and explain why rules or privileges differ. They can also listen without becoming defensive when a child says a sibling is treated better.