‘Cannot repeat mistakes’: Avantika Malik reveals how she and Imran Khan put their daughter first after separation, focusing on healthy co-parenting and keeping family bonds intact

A separation changes the structure of a family, but it does not have to change a child’s sense of being loved. For Avantika Malik and actor Imran Khan, this became an important principle as they worked out how to raise their daughter, Imara, after parting ways. In a recent episode of Soha Ali Khan’s podcast, ‘All About Her’, Avantika opened up about the conversations she and Imran had after their separation. Rather than allowing their personal experiences to shape their daughter’s childhood negatively, the former couple agreed that they needed to approach parenting differently from what they had experienced growing up.Both Avantika and Imran had been children of divorced parents. Their own experiences helped them understand how a family’s separation can affect a child, but they also believed they had the knowledge and tools to make the process healthier for Imara. Their approach offers a glimpse into how co-parenting can focus on a child’s emotional needs even when parents no longer live together.

A promise to break the cycle, not repeat it

Avantika and Imran first met when they were 19 and dated for around a decade before getting married in 2011. After years together, they separated in 2019. While their relationship attracted public attention and speculation, they had a more immediate responsibility to consider: helping their daughter adjust to the changes in their family. Recalling their discussions about co-parenting, Avantika said they understood that they did not have to repeat the difficulties they had witnessed or experienced during their own childhoods.They recognised that they had access to a better understanding of children’s emotional needs than their parents might have had at the time. This awareness helped them make a conscious effort to protect Imara from feeling responsible for the separation. For Avantika, having experienced divorce as a child gave her a clearer idea of what she wanted to avoid as a parent. She explained that the most difficult part was ensuring that her own emotional struggles did not become her daughter’s responsibility. This meant recognising that, although the adults were dealing with a major life change, the child should not have to carry the weight of their feelings or conflicts.

Making sure Imara never blames herself

One of Avantika’s biggest concerns was that Imara should never believe her parents’ separation happened because of something she had done. She wanted her daughter to feel precious, loved and supported by her entire family, regardless of whether her parents lived under the same roof. She also spoke about the importance of reassuring children that they are not responsible for their parents’ relationship decisions.When Imara was around four or five years old, she reportedly asked questions about whether she would have another mother or father in her life. Avantika recalled reassuring her that she would always remain her mother and Imran would always remain her father. Other people might eventually become part of their lives, she explained, but they would be additional sources of love rather than replacements for her parents.That distinction was important in helping Imara understand that her family circumstances had changed, but her place within the family had not. Avantika also emphasised that a child’s support system extends beyond parents. Grandparents, aunts and other relatives remain important parts of a child’s life, and she wanted Imara to continue receiving their affection and support. As she explained during the conversation, it is not only about the father or mother but the entire family ecosystem.

Emotional security matters more than living arrangements

For Avantika and Imran, protecting Imara’s mental health and sense of security remained central to their parenting decisions. Avantika said both parents were clear that their daughter’s well-being, emotional stability and feeling of being loved had to remain intact. Their separation was not supposed to make her feel that she had lost either parent or become less important in their lives. She recalled telling Imara that neither parent was going anywhere and that she would always be their number one priority.Such reassurance can help children understand that a change in living arrangements does not mean a loss of parental love. It also makes room for them to ask questions and express their feelings without feeling that they need to choose sides. For separated parents, this can require setting aside personal disagreements when making decisions about their children. It means keeping adult issues separate from parenting responsibilities and avoiding putting children in the middle of conflicts. Avantika’s account suggests that consistency and communication were important parts of the arrangement she and Imran worked towards.

From a fixed routine to a more flexible arrangement

In the early years after their separation, the former couple maintained a structured arrangement for Imara. Avantika explained that consistency was important when their daughter was younger, as a predictable routine could help her adjust to the changes. As Imara grew older, however, the arrangement became more flexible. Now around 12 or 13, she has more say in deciding how she wants to divide her time between her parents. This gradual shift reflects how parenting arrangements may need to evolve as children grow, develop their own preferences and become more independent. A routine that works for a young child may not always suit a teenager.Avantika’s experience also highlights that co-parenting does not necessarily require parents to follow a rigid arrangement forever. What matters is maintaining stability while remaining responsive to a child’s changing needs. Her conversation with Soha Ali Khan offers a broader lesson about parenting after separation: a relationship may end, but the responsibility to nurture a child continues. By prioritising Imara’s emotional security, preserving her relationships with both sides of the family and adapting their arrangement as she grows, Avantika and Imran have sought to ensure that their daughter continues to feel supported by both parents.